Dog Ownership
He attempted to play fetch with the dog using a tampon.
At the Metropolitan Museum of Art
I wonder how many people have thrown up on the stuff not under glass.
I really love Bed Bath Beyond
If you take too long in the bathroom I’m going to cum on your shoes.
Rule number 6: flush the toilet before leaving for the weekend.
Just had this epiphany. We’ve turned our bedroom from just a place to sleep to a place to hang out. We’ve done what so many others strive to do!
On syringes in the penis
what if that’s your fetish and you just keep taking viagra?
Does he smell like cheese?
Anonymous
Not a thing he says is true
Went out to dinner with his parents. The story of when he was a little kid, got over excited in a hotel room, started jumping bed to bed and twisted his ankle got brought up. Apparently, it happened twice in 3 years, not once like he has always said.
Bastard
He refused to cut his toenails and now I’m bleeding. Two bandaids.
